So lets start this as a story.
When i was in my first year in high school, I saw this boy. He walked by everyday and i gazed at him everyday. It took me a whole school year to find out his name. When year books finally came out, i looked for the hallway cutie and finally learned his name. Sophomore year came around and again i saw him every day this time i knew his name.
However i didn't do anything but just stare at him every time i Saw him. Junior year came around and he had gotten a lot taller and way even more cute. Still like an idiot i stared but I did manage to smile at him when/if he looked at me or in my direction. like a coward i never even spoke to him that year. Finally senior year came around
i said hi to him .... Hi.. thats all i could get my self to say was hi or hey. I wanted so badly to ask him out or to hang out or something. I very very much regret not doin so.
I moved away the day after i graduated high school. I was seein someone at the time but it wasnt the guy i had my eye on all four years of High school.
i dated him for almost a year and things ened badly and we no longer speak.
i wont go into detail bec he is not what this story is about. this story is about my high school cutie lol. anyways. He added me on facebook and we started talking a lot. yeah now we talk. now that i moved like 300 miles away. He then tells me he liked me also in high school but was too shy to talk to me or ask me out. yeah.... i was speachless. i didnt know that he knew i even was alive. .
So he finally tells me that He was signed up for the Army. This made me really upset. He went of to Florida and Arizona he finally came back from school. still havent seen him since high school. Some how.. I had fallen in love with him. We talked a lot. and i mean a lot. Facebook, AIM, MSN. we even video chated so we could see eachother, when we spoke we talked for hours on end. We even talked on the phone, and his voice was like music so soothing and i loved to hear it. He was the sweetest guy ever. he made me feel so special and like some one cared.
We have talked for 5 years. His Last g.f apparently there was a bad relationship with her, he called her a bitch and i guess wasnt fond of her anymore. but honestly didnt really bring her up often. Now, recently he told me that he didnt want a relationship bec hes scared of getting hurt again, and that he would rather go fight in afganistan than be in that place again. This made me cry. The man i fell in love with prolly got over me .... in prep to goin overseas, there was like a month where i shut everyone out, so maybe he just fergot about me.
now im left with this broken heart trying to move on. It seems im stuck on him. I think about him every single day. We still talk i dont want to lose him at all bec hes great as a friend. its just hard to get over someone that you think about constantly. I guess that its just best that way then in no way at all. but knowing someone cant or wont return feelings its really heartbreaking.
I am now tryin to get intersted in someone else that i kind of like. But he as well lives in the state i used to live in. I dont think that im ready for a relationship right now anyways. there are a lot of things going on in my life right now, i just need to focus on me.
<3MakeupbyJenneh xox
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